Becoming a Big Brother
When we were in the process of creating Baby A, Wifey and I had a number of conversations with each other and the kids about what our lives would look like with a baby in it. Amongst the whole realm of concerns, both small and large, we wondered how the kids would relate to one another as siblings.
Up until the 20 week ultrasound, Bubaloo was only supportive of bringing a baby into the family if he was going to have a brother. Once we found out that Baby A was a girl, we were concerned how Bubaloo would adapt as he already wasn’t thrilled about the idea of having a baby who he thought would cry all the time and interrupt his video game playing. Bubaloo was quite familiar with the antics of babies from his time in foster care. Now her arrival would add another girl to the family and he would remain the sole boy in the house. This was an awful fate that he bemoaned about for the last half of my pregnancy.
In the early weeks of Baby A’s life, Bubaloo would pretend to be entirely uninterested in her in our presence. It was only when he thought we weren’t looking that he’d engage with the baby.
As she began to interact a bit more with the world, he slowly became enamored with her. I’d catch glimpses of him in the car through the rear view mirror making faces at her and giving her big thumbs up. He’d be the first to find her if she stirred during nap time to give her the binky and would express concern if he thought she was crying too much. Now he finds the baby’s toys even more enthralling than she does. He tries to engage Baby A in seeing or interacting with them in a new way.
Every day after school he rushes home and proceeds to spend an hour or so playing with his little sister. He loves finding ways to amuse her and his very presence makes Baby A smile. All he has to do is walk into a room to get the baby to laugh her tiny head off and wave her hands with delight. He’s very caring and gentle with her.
With a 13 year age difference, we weren’t sure how Bubaloo and Baby A would relate to one another. So far their relationship is one of pure joy. They’re developing a very special bond. We hoped that they would see one another as siblings, and that is well underway.
We wondered if Baby A would grow up like a singleton without a sibling playmate. When she starts kindergarten, her big brother and sister will likely have moved out of the house. We didn’t think she’d be interesting enough until this point to capture the attention of her older siblings.
What we never anticipated is that Bubaloo would get down to her level and that they would become playmates. Despite their growing up in different generations, play is at the core of how they relate to one another. Bubaloo and Baby A are pals.